“In Light there is Dark, and in Dark there is Light.”

Kami Garcia, Beautiful Darkness

I think no season sums up the dance between Light and Dark as well as Winter does. From early times, the expanding darkness swallowing up the world must have been as concerning to a society existing on gathering and hunting, cutting down the time available and creating a need to gather together for warmth and support in caves, however large.

Last April I visited the National Showcaves Centre of Wales and saw the cave called Bone Cave. They’d found 42 human skeletons dating back to the Bronze Age 3000 years ago inside, along with evidence of Roman useage and others throughout history. It was a strange feeling standing inside the cave, which we’d had to bend double to enter, and knowing that humans throughout history had climbed the hill, crept inside and created a safe space against the gathering Dark outside. I wonder what tales they told each other? What myths of monsters, animals, shapeshifters or creatures unseen by human eyes they told, as the fire danced and the shadows shifted around them?

Tales of Light vs Dark are everywhere if we look. Even modern stories draw on our natural anxiety or fear of the dark. Think Rise of the Guardians (2012), where the enemy Pitch spreads across the globe using his dark shadow horses of nightmares to scare children out of belief in the forces of good. The Midnight Guardians by Ross Montgomery uses the subtitle ‘sometimes at the darkest hour, hope shines the brightest’. Most ghost stories, as Nigel Slater puts it, “are set on winter nights… where long shadows lend a suitably mysterious, spine-tingling atmosphere.”

Yet Nigel himself loves winter shadows, they are ‘more interesting’. I asked my son could he think of a modern film where the dark/light confrontation was a big element. He told me “we’ve moved past that now. It’s not a big thing any more.” Life really is becoming all shades of grey, isn’t it?

I suppose we have moved past a black and white way of thinking in so many ways, there are no moral certainties any more and what you think really does depend on your viewpoint or what you’ve been told to think. And in some ways that’s good. The days of blasting someone just for being who they are because of innate qualities or features are gone, but I think we lose out if we can’t recognise that just because the light at the moment is bright, lasts all day and all year and allows for no darkness of nature or belief, that the shadows are no longer an issue. I think the darkness has become so much more personal instead. What scares me may not scare you, and what we both fear may not be fearful to others. And I also think there are still shadows that all people hold in common, but perhaps dare not admit to or face.

I once got told that it is bad to be forever positive. I agree. I think we need a little darkness, a little shadow or cloud in life. A life spent hyggering forever, forever safe, forever satiated, forever full of only the good, the bright, the happy would be an unfulfilling life. We need the cold, the obstacle, the dark path unlit by visible Hope to drive us off our cosy sofa and through the shadows of the forest where we learn about our real selves, dark desires, black moods and (hopefully) respond with true light in word and deed. We need some dark in every light. It is good to be reminded that we are not all powerful, all good or all righteous.

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. Lent is a season of rituals and resets. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

My Christmas books are always available: Have Yourself a Happy Hygge Christmas is a good place to start, on how to make the season cosier, happier. Celebrating a Contagious Christmas was written during covid year, but has useful advice on celebrating when times are hard anyway and Enjoying a Self-Care Christmas is a short e-book on keeping Christmas simpler, easier and better for you, your waistline and your budget. It even includes 25+ suggestions for self-care activities over Christmas, as simple as sipping tea, keeping a list journal or lighting a candle. Bigger is not always better for Christmas.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of spring/summer.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions is by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash. I’m using it from now until January as a real reminder of the power of light. I loved the simplicity of the shot, the focus on the one candle, the reminder that there are many lights out there if we open our hearts to them and the combination of candle and nature in creating a cosy Christmas.