When you get to the end of all the light you know and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.

Edward Teller

The past four years have been, for me, an exercise in stepping out into the unknown. From changing career in 2016 to facing an empty nest as my children grow and go out into the world, life is one long changing path. I’ve faced issues at home and in the wider world that have been nasty, vindictive, isolating, strangely personalised and designed to destroy my self-confidence, self-belief and self-protection. It’s been like walking across a limestone pavement on a grand scale. Just as you cross one plateau you come to another deep, dark, bottomless gorge and the choice is fall or fly.

So far, I’ve learned to fly.

— I’ve learned that I have an inner strength and an ability to say No that I would never have believed possible.

— I’ve learned that the only person whose opinion I value (apart from my own) is my husband.

— I’ve learned too many times that the heart may seek reconciliation but the forces against can create the chasms and fences that close one off from those one might be seeking reconciliation with.

— I’ve learned to release the sadness, the anger, the bewilderment at a state that, God knows, nobody asked to happen.

— I’ve learned to align my life, my values and my intentions so that my inner convictions are not compromised.

— I’ve tried to find paths around obstacles and found that life is too short to avoid all conflicts, and that sometimes facing the chasm reveals that it is as shallow as it could be. Just because someone else has called it a chasm, doesn’t make it one.

— I’ve rediscovered my faith… a lot less religion organised by other people and a lot more personal… and that I’m okay with the idea that other people’s views on faith don’t match mine. I’ll keep looking my way, you look yours and we’ll meet on the common ground.

— I’ve learned humility, in buckets, and also courage, in spadefuls, and that sometimes the combination works so well because we need both to go forward safely.

— I’ve found my creativity, been inspired, and rediscovered the joy in creation for creation’s sake. I’ve also found that it’s my flow activity, and that balance of mind often comes at the end of a pen, pencil, brush or needle.

— And I’ve grown. Oh, Lord, have I grown. Trials, temptations, turbulence, attacks, tests, banishment, being welcomed, being shunned, being insulted, being excluded. I have faced them all and I have emerged as a stronger, more mature woman.

Christmas is a season of light, but the flipside is that the Darkness waits for me outside. When it’s time to step into the unknown I have faith. Something solid to stand on? Ability to fly? I’m not sure which it will be, but I have faith it will be one or the other.

For those who have a beef with me: I forgive you the pain, anger and heartache of the past few years. I pray you’ll have the strength and faith to forgive as well. Move on, move beyond.

For those I love: let’s go forward and step into the darkness with a lantern held high. Light does, after all, destroy Dark, and the best way to conquer the darkest of all forces is in a company of fellow travellers.

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. Lent is a season of rituals and resets. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

My Christmas books are always available: Have Yourself a Happy Hygge Christmas is a good place to start, on how to make the season cosier, happier. Celebrating a Contagious Christmas was written during covid year, but has useful advice on celebrating when times are hard anyway and Enjoying a Self-Care Christmas is a short e-book on keeping Christmas simpler, easier and better for you, your waistline and your budget. It even includes 25+ suggestions for self-care activities over Christmas, as simple as sipping tea, keeping a list journal or lighting a candle. Bigger is not always better for Christmas.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of spring/summer.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions is by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash. I’m using it from now until January as a real reminder of the power of light. I loved the simplicity of the shot, the focus on the one candle, the reminder that there are many lights out there if we open our hearts to them and the combination of candle and nature in creating a cosy Christmas.