I’m sorry, Gemma. But we can’t live in the light all of the time. You have to take whatever light you can hold into the dark with you.

Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty.

Don’t Quit
Poet: Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit –
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he
Might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems
To a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up when he
Might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And when you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst,
You must not quit.

My Mum used to say (still does) that it won’t always be dark at six o’clock. I never quite worked out whether this was six in the morning or six in the evening. Whichever, the answer is, especially at this time of year, that for a few weeks at least it’s dark at four, and that the extra two hours of sunlight would be useful but aren’t available so we have to make the most of what we do have instead.

Mothers are full of wisdom that we try and shake off when we’re younger only to return to again when we mature. Like the poem above, which I must have had repeated to me by either Mum or Grandma often enough for it to be ingrained. When things seem darkest, I cannot quit because (as Mum also said) the night is darkest before the dawn.

She also always said ‘Never let your Mother say she raised a quitter’. I’m not a quitter, but I have learned tactful retreat and regrouping. Whatever the darknesses in life, having a light to take into them is useful, whether that light is wise words from past generations, a poem that speaks to your situation (I also love Desiderata, which I had a copy of on my wall for ages) or a friend that you know and trust will have a listening ear, a considering brain and wise words of action/inaction as you need them. Collecting these supports and knowing how to access them easily is a good step to take just before that step into the dark. Take the light with you, please.

Gathering Your Light:

• Make a list of sources of inspiration for you in a planner or using a website like Goodreads or pinterest. Include websites you love, quotes and poems that inspire you or playlists of music that makes you happy.
• Have a small selection of books that you know give you strength and guidance… apart from The Bible, I always have a copy of Simple Abundance, The Harvester, A Happy Poem to End Each Day and both The Lord of The Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia next to my bed. Volumes designed to give me what I need when I need it… whether that’s a short burst of inspiration, a retreat to childhood, a spiritual nugget of wisdom and guidance or just an escape route for an hour. I’ve read all of them often enough that I can just dip in and out wherever.
• Count your blessings. When the darkness circles, and the path ahead is in shadow, gather the best of life to you. Make a list of all the good things that have already blessed your life or will bless your life in the days ahead. Start basic: you’re alive! List everything, and look over the list often.
• Follow the people who give you light: the positive thinkers, the sensible advisors, the gentle humourists or just the ones who post happy pictures of cats and babies. I follow someone on Twitter called Dan Wuori who posts about childhood development and language acquisition. They’re lovely videos anyway, of kids playing with boxes, cooing or engaging with an adult, but they’re made even better by his input into how or why the exchange matters. It’s a guaranteed smile and a learning moment.
• Build your resilience. When you feel yourself dipping, take a step out of the pit. If you’ve slipped unknowingly to the deepest depths, ring someone or take a step to get back in touch with someone you know who can help. Never sit in the dark alone.

Those are my toolkit suggestions. Do you have any others? Anything else you do to make sure that. although the night is darkest just before the dawn, you have a little ray of early dawn to guide you?

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. Lent is a season of rituals and resets. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

My Christmas books are always available: Have Yourself a Happy Hygge Christmas is a good place to start, on how to make the season cosier, happier. Celebrating a Contagious Christmas was written during covid year, but has useful advice on celebrating when times are hard anyway and Enjoying a Self-Care Christmas is a short e-book on keeping Christmas simpler, easier and better for you, your waistline and your budget. It even includes 25+ suggestions for self-care activities over Christmas, as simple as sipping tea, keeping a list journal or lighting a candle. Bigger is not always better for Christmas.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of spring/summer.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions is by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash. I’m using it from now until January as a real reminder of the power of light. I loved the simplicity of the shot, the focus on the one candle, the reminder that there are many lights out there if we open our hearts to them and the combination of candle and nature in creating a cosy Christmas.