What if I’m in charge of my own damn light switch?

Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

In charge of your own lightswitch?

Learn to use it.

Learn to turn yourself on to the things that speak to you, that whisper for attention but are drowned in a sea of noise and buried in a world of more.

Learn what little details make your heart sing, your fingers tingle, your brain spin with giddiness and your feet itch to go, move, explore, enjoy.

Turn your own power on. Go on, I dare you. Take 40 minutes for yourself to do something that you have been meaning to do but life has just been too darned busy for. 40 minutes: that’s a cup of tea in silence, a mile walk out and back again, a chapter of most books, a pen/pencil/charcoal drawing in a sketchpad, a line of knitting, a handwritten letter, a draft of a poem.

It’s a warm shower and an album of regret cried through.

It’s the phone call to the friend whose cards arrive every year with the ‘we must meet up!’ at the bottom, and disappears in January with the recycling to come back again next December.

It’s lunchtime spent away from the desk, in a park or just on the street with a sausage roll and watching the people go by. Or lunch with colleagues and a slice of cake.

It’s 40 minutes staring out the window and crying because the person who should know you best has completely forgotten about the event you discussed, or because your elderly parent told you news that you told them last week and treated it as if you should be surprised. Or because you didn’t get the milk in and it curdled on the step. Crying is cathartic, and this is 40 minutes just for you to cry the cares away.

It’s reading some blogposts that set you a-thinking, then going and doing something… Anything… to improve your life.

It’s dancing in the kitchen to Taylor Swift, running round the block at whatever pace you can, watching a yoga show and assuming the positions (badly, if necessary), it’s going to your Holy Place (church, temple, the grove of trees: wherever you feel nearer to your divinity) and spinning with delight and ecstasy, it’s stretching out your arms and saying Yes! Yes! Yes!

Your lightswitch? Go, be in charge of it.

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. Lent is a season of rituals and resets. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

My Christmas books are always available: Have Yourself a Happy Hygge Christmas is a good place to start, on how to make the season cosier, happier. Celebrating a Contagious Christmas was written during covid year, but has useful advice on celebrating when times are hard anyway and Enjoying a Self-Care Christmas is a short e-book on keeping Christmas simpler, easier and better for you, your waistline and your budget. It even includes 25+ suggestions for self-care activities over Christmas, as simple as sipping tea, keeping a list journal or lighting a candle. Bigger is not always better for Christmas.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of spring/summer.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions is by Laura Nyhuis on Unsplash. I’m using it from now until January as a real reminder of the power of light. I loved the simplicity of the shot, the focus on the one candle, the reminder that there are many lights out there if we open our hearts to them and the combination of candle and nature in creating a cosy Christmas.