(With apologies to anyone who doesn’t work the stereotypical work week. I presume you get a weekend at a different time, or have learned to enjoy the End of The Work Week feeling whichever day that happens.)

I’ve always worked a traditional work week, as teacher, parent and now with the Husband in our small firm. It’s very useful to have as a structure because it means that Friday Night is always the start of the weekend. I like that: when I was in school I used Friday as a breathing technique. Deep breath in, and then exhale slowly for about five seconds saying ‘Friiii-dayyyy’ as you do. I’d got to the point where even my children knew when I said it that way it was because I needed to calm myself.

In Cosy Happy Hygge I wrote that “Friday night is the ending of a busy work week and the portal to a weekend of recuperation“. I wrote of candlelit dinners, evenings watching movies and the weekly bottle of beer or cider.

Bearing in mind, the book is now five years old, our Friday nights have moved on again. There is no chance of an intimate candlelit dinner for two at home, so we abandoned any effort to make it so. We are at a stage of life when we have three adult children all living with us: Friday night is simultaneously easier and harder than ever.

It’s easier, because I don’t cook. The Second Son cooks chicken or burgers or occasionally homemade pizza. It’s harder because the Last Child, a daughter, likes an active social life so even the weekly bottle of beer may have to wait until she has been collected or dropped off for a night out. We very rarely actually go out on a Friday: most weekends we just want to sit and relax, and the majority of our friends are also happier going out on a Saturday. When we (Peter and I) go out, it tends to be to the theatre and we go straight from work, leaving the lads to eat whatever they choose that week while we have a (not candlelit) intimate dinner for two at a Burger King. We are that romantic.

But when we don’t go out, I like to make sure that Friday is still a definite family night, a time to gather and eat together, to watch a movie and to spend time relaxing as a group. It’s so easy every other evening for the kids to live separate lives, as I wrote about here, that making the effort to insist on one evening together is well worth it.

I shop before I get home on a Friday, and add a few treats into the basket: perhaps sweets, chocolate or some crisps. It’s the only night of the week when we consciously have crisps or sweets. On a posh evening, I may go for charcuterie or antipasta. I love a good bit of cheese, too, or I go for sweet treats for after the meal like ice cream or cake. Second Son, as I said, does the cooking for the night. He makes burgers as posh as any fancy restaurant with onion rings, toasted cheese topping and rocket scrunched into a pillow beneath good burgers.

We settle back to watch movies, still enjoying classic movies and still, gradually, working our way through the Classic Movie list. We also love caper movies, silly action adventure and totally ridiculous comedies, so the movie choice can be varied. With the lights out, and occasional sound of sipping, eating or just plain laughing at the comedy, we spend the evening together peacefully.

Afterwards? Well, a good movie provokes a response, and we often end up talking about style, format or lack of ability. One movie may lead on to another, and sometimes the next week is decided by the end of this. It’s an excellent cool down from work before the weekend. It could be even better, but I have three very grounded children who look askance if I get too ambitious. No worries: one day they will not be there, and I will miss them, but I will move on and create another kind of Cosy Friday evening to enjoy.

My top advice for Cosy Fridays:

• Change out of your work clothes as soon as you can. My young adults still get into their pyjamas early Friday, but I can’t quite relax that far. It’s good to have a pair of lounge pants and a jersey that only gets worn on a Friday. It’s as good as pyjamas, but I can still answer the door.
• Have a food that really means Friday. With us, it’s a meal eaten off the knees rather than at the table. It limits the menu, perhaps, but it serves as a sign that Friday is special. When the kids finally move out, I’ll go back to the dinner for two specials: duck, Hunter’s chicken, paella, homemade risotto.
• Turn the phones onto silent, let the voicemail do the work, ignore anything work related unless it is absolutely vital. We don’t have computers downstairs during Movie Night, and even the phones only really get used for IMDBing the cast list, or checking a fact about the film/actor.
• Limit the people you admit on a Friday evening. There are other nights to invite everyone over. Make Friday (or other day, as applicable) your family evening. Don’t have their school friends over for tea, don’t ask relatives in, make sure you and the rest of the household know it’s a special family time.
• When you do (*cough* theatre) have to miss an evening, apologise and make sure everything is in place for it to go ahead without you. Buy the food, plan the movie, ensure the household still attends. We don’t go to the theatre very often, but we’ve been delighted to come home and find the kids went ahead with a film they knew we wouldn’t like, probably.
• Movies are not your thing? Find a family activity that is. If your usual mealtime is hurried, knee-bound or fast food, set aside Friday as a proper family meal. Make the chicken, bake the dessert, set the table and your expectations at the same time.
• Games evenings work well, too. Play the board games, read companionably in silence, listen to an audiobook. Find something that you all like to do.
• Split the evening into child-friendly and adult-only, as we used to. Have bathtime early, set picky food on a blanket or tablecloth for a carpet picnic, slip away as parents to put something smarter on and buy in or cook a meal just for two. Once the children’s movie is over, turn down all the lights, slip on the soft music and eat together lit only by candlelight.
• Don’t make a big fuss over the evening. Make it fun, relaxed, enjoyable. You ahve no expectations, you have nothing to achieve. Go with the flow, let others help or organise, or choose or coordinate, and enjoy Fridays just being with your people.
• Alone? Apart from a possible lack of eating companion who can discuss the movie with you, there’s no reason not to enjoy a relaxed Friday evening. You get to choose everything to suit you, which is a blessing, but you get to choose everything, which is a pain. If you have a relative or friend in the same/similar position, why not alternate hosting? Or use your Rriday in a way that suits you. Life is for enjoying, not angsting.

I hope you already do Friday Cosy, but if you haven’t really established it yet, I hope this post gives you ideas. Tether your weekend down, create the decompression of a Friday night, and learn to release the week’s stress. After three, now…. one… two…. three…. Friiiiiiidaaaayyyyy.

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. Lent is a season of rituals and resets. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

Is it too early to think ahead? My Christmas books are always available: Have Yourself a Happy Hygge Christmas is a good place to start, on how to make the season cosier, happier. Celebrating a Contagious Christmas was written during covid year, but has useful advice on celebrating when times are hard anyway and Enjoying a Self-Care Christmas is a short e-book on keeping Christmas simpler, easier and better for you, your waistline and your budget. It even includes 25+ suggestions for self-care activities over Christmas, as simple as sipping tea, keeping a list journal or lighting a candle. Bigger is not always better for Christmas.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of summer 2025.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions is by Alisa Anton on Unsplash. I like the pause it seems to hint at: the person, who has stepped out of the shot for a moment, has their book ready to read and hot chocolate on the point of perfection: they’ve lit their candle, and settled down to enjoy a fresh breeze before the autumn winds turn sharp and sarcastic. They just need… what? Their pen? A blank page to write a loved one a letter? Socks, or a throw? I love photos that drag you into making up a story.