An admission: I am as guilty as anyone of looking at my life and wishing it were different. Sometimes it’s just so hard, so busy, so mind- and body-tiring that I wonder just what is the point? But then I make a cup of tea ( a cup of tea always restores my sanity) and figure out that I am one of the lucky ones. I have a cushy life and any number of people would just love to live my lifestyle. I have a job, a house, food security, family who share my life with me and a library. I think that last part (library sounds grand, but all I mean is a pile of books easily accessed and on as wide a variety of topics as possible) is the part that keeps me grounded. Reading encourages one to live another life, and to ‘see’ a world that (thank God) one would never want to experience personally. I don’t seek out books that will make me cry…. but sometimes they slide into one’s life when they are meant to. The Kite Runner, for example. The Book Thief, The Underground Railroad and The Unit all hit me at the right time.

And I have every domestically pretty book possible. Well, I have a good few. Making life beautiful just as it is is important to me. The world’s gone to pot? Here’s a cup of tea. Stormclouds on the horizon? Put the geraniums out, and let them dance in the rain. A difficult few months ahead? Pull on your big girl pants (that match your big girl bra) and let’s do what we can. And if we can’t improve the outside situation, we make our home a little more welcoming, a little cosier, a little more of a sanctuary. Real life will always be there, and must always ultimately be faced, but for this space, this time, this interval my life can be sunny when it’s snowing, warm when it’s the wettest day possible and beautiful when my cupboards are bare.

I really have set out to craft a life I am happy with. I try new things, and keep my old favourites. I find ways of doing that are good for me and the environment. I like to have one foot in the past, one foot in the present and an eye on what might be ahead. I plan, but not obsessively, and I roll with the waves when they threaten to submerge my life’s boat. I’m happy. I have holidays…. but I never get to them desperate for a break or a vacation. I’m happy staying home if I can, although I’m appreciative of time away, too. I love my life. It’s reached a point of balance that suits me.

It’s funny, though, because I seem to have avoided anything Cottagecore. I think I dislike the use of the word ‘core’ at the end of something, perhaps because my brain links it to porn, or perhaps because the definitions of cottagecore seem to be all about aesthetic, appearance, externals rather than making lasting change and permanent stability in one’s life. Perhaps I dislike trends that are so easily used for marketing opportunities (I have railed against hygge being used as a marketing tool rather than an integral element in life in the past, and I will always maintain that proper hygge doesn’t need to cost a penny) and cottagecore has definitely swept the board for Gen Z and Millenials. Perhaps they haven’t yet developed the Sod It attitude to be able to say “I like this… and I like this, too”. Perhaps they are too visual and too well-trained to crowd-whatever (crowd-surfing, crowd-funding, crowd-ed house) to let them find their own aesthetic.

Whatever. I slid into some cottagecore Youtube Channels this week, and I have to say I enjoyed them. I don’t feel a mad desire to run out and follow them, remake my house in their image or splash the cash on everything they recommend, but I do like that the old and worn seems to be having a resurgeance again and that making life pretty no longer seems to be out. Utilitarian grey is all very well, but it does get boring in the end.

And I’m pleased that creating a life one loves is in fashion again. Romanticizing life. Romanticizing everything. If you look online, you can find advice on romanticizing one’s life, one’s kitchen and one’s worklife. I have an issue with the origin of the idea of romanticizing anything, since originally it meant to idealize a situation and pretend that it is better than it actually is, and I prefer to live with reality and appreciate the mundane among the sacred. I may love the idea of a 1950’s hutch in the kitchen, but I prefer a modern fitted kitchen and definitely a modern cooker to a coal-burning blacklead fantasy. Like everything in life, romanticizing needs to stay grounded. It’s no use dreaming of forty acres and a hill-top log cabin when you really have a two-bed flat and a small balcony. You’re never going to get the full Heidi experience, so don’t even try. But you can have the best You experience, and sometimes you will feel as if you’ve achieved the Heidi Heights of fresh butter, sliced cheese, homemade bread and line-dried sheets. As Jamie on Chapter Twenty Something puts it: “”Romanticizing life isn’t about aesthetics. It’s how we reframe boredom, chaos, loneliness, or burnout—and make space for beauty in the everyday. Because your life isn’t a trailer for something better. This is the story. So you might as well give it a killer soundtrack.“

It’s not about escape… although it may be escapist for a while. It’s not about how it looks… although you will want your life to look as good as you can. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about living with the imperfections in a way that lets you enjoy life despite the chaos around you. It sounds, actually, a lot like hygge. Create a nest, craft a life system that supports what you need to do and leaves space for what you want to do. Have cake or biscuits handy, make the pot of tea, use the good china. Take that pause and forget about the outside world.

Don’t we all need to do that once in a while?

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

My Christmas books are always available: Have Yourself a Happy Hygge Christmas is a good place to start, on how to make the season cosier, happier but Enjoying a Self-Care Christmas may be a faster and more seasonally appropriate read.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of Winter 2026.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions by Svitlana on Unsplash. It just screams autumn: the rainy window, the teapot and a chunky mug, the pumpkin decoration and the bowl of autumn’s fruits. The only thing that’s missing is a stove or woodburning fire.