Flaming March, April and May, come to that.

How did the time run by so quickly? I was convinced that I’d posted at least once in May, about holidays and time spent with adult children (the fact of which I am only *just* coming to terms with. The Husband still calls our three ‘the kids’ or ‘the children’ and I keep correcting him: They’re adult offspring now, fully grown and separate beings who need independence. I know this, but it’s so hard to achieve) but that post seems to have been written in my head and left there. Indeed, like so much of my life, what’s in my head should be left to fester there while I get on with spending time in better and more profitable ways.

I don’t know, I seem to be in the expanding foam part of life. Whatever gaps I have are soom filled with inconsequential, useless, petty irritations that I know I need to attend to and clear, but really. Even as I start to write this post I’ve remembered that I have to book eye tests for Husband and me, so that’s another distraction to factor into life.

Neither at work nor at home do I feel free, in control or able to plan just for me. I think that’s just a me thing at the moment: it would be good to check, though. Do you find life slipping through your fingers, sliding away like seaweed or dribbling through gaps like the sands of an hourglass?

I’ve been complaining that the time goes quicker with every passing year for a while now. This year has been super-charged. I’m sure it’s only March. It can’t be June… can it?

And so many little tesserae of my life have been drifting slowly apart. Blog, Facebook group, reading, in person meet ups, time spent just existing. It’s all in danger of sliding off the table. I could do with some decent gorilla glue and gap repairs. I know I should wax lyrical about Kintsugi, the gaps being where the light comes in, and the beauty of a repaired body…. but honestly, I just want a workable solution and at the moment aesthetics be damned. I’ll paint the gold varnish on at a later date, but for now I just need a skeleton system to get me moving.

I’m back, people. And this time I don’t want to let life run away with me.

*Flaming June is the name of a picture by Frederick, Lord Leighton, a Victorian painter. The original is in the Lady Lever Art Gallery in Port Sunlight, one of my favourite galleries because it has an abundance of Pre-Raphaelite and late Victorian narrative paintings. I like a painting that tells a story, or into which I can build a story. Flaming June is just about as expressive of how I feel at the moment as it can be. Please, don’t make me do that (whatever That is). The acronym CBA is just enough. Remind me, though… I did get to see Lord Leighton’s Holland Park mansion last week and that was very nice. I must tell you about that, and the waterfalls, and the breaks I have planned. Let me work on establishing a pattern, routine, rhythm and ritual again, which is what has really thrown me recently.