12 Steps I took to Make My Day.

Life is just so…. daily, isn’t it? You wake up, you work, you eat, you collapse, you get time to sit on a lavatory (alone, if you’re lucky) you have a period of idleness, you sleep, you repeat. At one point in your life you may be at home wishing you were free to leave the house, at another you’ll be working outside the home and wishing you were free to stay at home. It just is so…. daily.

I can’t solve the itchy feeling that wherever you are, you’d rather be elsewhere, but I have done my darndest to make sure that *most of the time* I am happy where I am. Not ecstatic, just happy. Some of the steps I took are mental, others a physical change or alteration that boosts my personal satisfaction in a life well lived.

Here, in no particular order, are 12 things I do to Make My Day run better.

I have two alarms: one set for 10 to 15 minutes before I am due to get up and the other at the time itself. That way, when the first alarm goes off I can turn over in bed, and drift slowly awake rather than jump out of bed and shock myself with reality. Yes, it’s a snooze button by any other name, but used sensibly. You do have to get out of bed straight away when the second bell chimes.
Regular periods of time have a structure that flows. Morning and evening I do the same things in the same order every day, unless I need a change when even altering the order you do toothbrushing and making the bed can make a difference. I have written about morning routines and evening routines before, either on the blog or in my books, and for adults and children they make sense. They remove a whole load of thinking and decision making that free the brain up for better stuff.
A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place. It took me years to realise this was one of the best lessons I could learn. I’m still learning it, especially when I do cleaning or tidying up and change a system, I have to make sure the Places are replaced. My keys are in my bag, important papers in a secure location and extra teabags in the larder. I do this at home and in work, so basically if I need a thing I know where it is.
I put reminders of my best times and places around the house. That screensaver photo of me at the waterfall, the rock I collected on a special weekend away, a photo wall that sits on the fridge and changes often. Even in my planner, I like a little reminder of how good life is with either a quote card, a photograph or a ticket from a trip. An instant removal from the place I am to the place I was, thanks to memory.
I remember to be grateful. Gratitude is so important in life if we intend to live happily. Look for the grain of beauty, strength, learning or truth in every situation. Even in the darkest hour, there can be gratitude at a life lived well, a chance to display resilience or fortitude or the gaining of a gem of wisdom. Most days aren’t dark days, so spotting the pearls among the peas of everyday life should be easier: five minutes peace, a beautiful sunset, a completed to-do list or a new-to-me song. Keep a note as well, a list in your diary or post-it notes on the fridge. I love the idea of Gratitude Jars, but not if they feel like a chore.
Everything works better when it’s had a chance to cool off. My husband naturally comes home and goes upstairs to change after work. Honestly, it takes him a long time to slip off a suit and put on a home shirt and cords. It took me a while to work out that what he was atcually doing was sneaking a quick read of the newspaper websites or a few pages of his book. When I was home with kids, I felt like I was being cheated because (duh) I didn’t get the break to change from work to home. Fair enough, then, I set up a breathing space for us all: a short pause, with a drink and a snack, when we just sat and didn’t need to move. I no longer need the snack, but I do award myself a 5pm cuppa and a short pause between day-time work and dinner-time prep.
Make time for what matters. Believe me, a spotless house is lovely and if you can get one, so much the better. But if the spotless house comes at the cost of cleaning when you should be playing, or takes you nagging family or friends to get it, then it’s a waste of effort. Make sure you don’t prioritise the wrong things. My house currently is taking second place to my husband, my children and my elderly parents. I’d rather spend time with any of them than have an immaculate house (although if I can get them cleaning with me and make it a family affair, that’s not bad.
Listen to your body and adjust what needs to be done accordingly. I never did this in my youth. I’d write a to-do list for the day and it would need to be all done by bedtime *or else*. Having children breaks you of that habit, simply because there is no chance of getting it all done on any day. Maturing, becoming peri- and then post-menopausal has taught me even more that a list is no more than an advisory document and not to be followed slavishly. Now, I listen to my body and rest when tired, eat when hungry and take time to laugh little and often, even if it means the list gets carried on.
That said, I do have lists. Planning ahead helps me not have to rush to shop every day, or lets me organise cleaning and housekeeping to make time for homemaking. I used to plan a month’s worth of meals, now I plan roughly for the week, including the days I am not cooking on. Because I know Thursday is a skive day I’m happy to plan extra decluttering or time out to play then safe in the knowledge that Eldest Son will provide the nourishment. I am still, however, trying to plan housekeeping effectively into an hour a day so it fits in with work.
Live in All Four Rooms. Rumer Godden, in her memoir, A House with Four Rooms, wrote: “There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but, unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.” It’s easy, if you’re gifted in one area, only to stay in that room, but finding time to stop even for a few minutes in each room helps to rebalance life. I try to take a short walk every day (even if only by parking further away from the office than usual), to do something mentally stimulating like a puzzle, reading or Duolingo, to calm my emotions and breathe stress out when I can feel myself getting tense and to spend a few moments in something spiritual. I like the Glorify App on days when I am short on time, or time with my current Bible study, whichever it is, but a non-Christian would enjoy Headspace, Buddhify or any good spiritual book in their tradition.
Use The Good Stuff. Seriously, get the crystal out for a glass of water, use your wedding service china, treat yourself to good cheese from a cheese shop or a fine angus steak from a proper butcher. Every day do something that adds luxury to your life, whether that’s saving up and buying high-count bedding for your bed, using a top-quality lipstick (I love Clinique’s Black Honey Almost Lipstick for every day use) or using your favourite scent. Perfume was, for me, one of my first signals that I was returning to normality after becoming a mother. Once the initial baby fog passed, getting a good scent and using it was a signal to my brain that I was more than just a milk machine. The Good Life is there to enjoy, and good stuff doesn’t automatically equal expensive. It means honouring yourself in the home as much as you would a guest. Clean towels, regular pots of tea, a small chocolate on the pillow.
Simplify what you can, and elevate it at the same time. I’m busy Döstädning at the moment: clearing the house of unnecessary overflow, junk, books, clothes and shoes. I’m stripping back to my essentials (with the proviso that my essentials are a lot more than other people’s although a lot less than others) and making sure that my life isn’t cluttered by more than I need. But in doing so it has given me a chance to upscale my life as well. In my underwear drawer, I have three slightly different shades of M&S bras, each with multiple matching knickers, making 18 days of matching underwear. There’s just something about having a bra and knickers that match that makes me feel better in myself. Entertainment-wise, I’m looking out for classes or evenings that are better for me than TV slobbing, and looking to see if I can combine time spent with friends with time spent doing good stuff like reading, art or bible-study. Do less, but mak ethe less you do better. It does mean assuring myself that I am not missing out of anything, because that FOMO is a real thing.

Is that enough? It strikes me, reading over, that the last three apply to every part of life: work, home, play or anywhere you are. Keep it simple, recognise you are a complete person and that you, quite as much as anyone else around you, deserve the best in life. The real secret is in recognising what that best is… and whether your best is the same as the next persons.

I’m off now to wipe over the bathroom in work. We’re currently between organising systems at work, so I have some spare time. I’ll make a note while I’m there of the little touches the room needs: a basket for the spare loo roll, a towel rail or just a decent clean up. Hope your day is filled with small moments that make you, too, feel your life is good.

How to Hygge the British Way is my gift to the world. I don’t get paid for writing it, I’m not in it for the kudos, financial rewards, to become an influencer, work with brands or otherwise make any money from the blog. That’s why there are no ads, and any products I mention and recommend have either been gifted to me or bought by me with my everyday wages or donations from supporters. Every book I review has been bought and read by me, unless stated otherwise.

I do get a couple of pennies each time someone buys from the Amazon links on my page, as an Amazon Affiliate, but otherwise if you’d like to support me, I like to give something back in return. That’s why I write books. It always feels good if you get a book back in return for some money. You can find a full list of my books at my Author’s Page on Amazon, but especially recommended for this time of year are:

Cosy Happy Hygge: Setting up a rhythm to life and rituals to enjoy it to make for a more balanced life that handles waves and storms better. Lent is a season of rituals and resets. The book has small and easy ways to make your life flow with grace and happiness, which lead to more hygge.

Happier: Probably my most personal book, it’s the story of how I used hygge and the little things in life to help boost my happiness. I still go back and reread to remind myself what I need to do to be a happy human. And it’s always the little things.

How to Hygge Your Summer is my book about making the most of summertime. Hygge is so often seen as a winter pastime, and yet the principles of hygge (good food, good friends, time to be) are just as applicable to days when you can gather in a park or garden as when you gather round the fireplace. This book only scrapes the surface of what you can do, but hopefully sends you off with inspiration to make your own summer hygge.

I’m currently working on two book projects: I have a hankering to rewrite 50 Ways to Hygge the British Way, so it’s not available at the moment, but even dearer to my heart and my next stated aim is to finish and publish my next book, Simple Plus Cosy = Hygge. It will be about homemaking and how the home we create shapes the hygge we have. Hopefully it will be finished by the end of summer/autumn/winter.

If you’d like to support me, but don’t want to buy a book, I have a Paypal.Me account as Hygge Jem. Every little helps, so even a few pence goes towards the books, goods and courses I use and recommend on the site. I’m grateful for every little bit that brings me closer to my dream of full-time writing, and I know I couldn’t still be writing if it weren’t for the support of many readers and friends out there. Thank you all for every little bit of support, emotional, physical and financial, you give me.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, don’t forget to share it or save it so others can enjoy reading, thinking about and living hygge as well.

The photo between post and promotions is by Arno Smit on Unsplash. I wish I had a garden shed like this one! I chose it because I love the colours of the windowframes, the tantalisingly inviting open door and the comfy chair within. Perfect spot for a cup of tea and a good book. And the header today is by Sincerely Media on Unsplash. I read a little bit every day, no matter what else I do, so this seemed like an ideal combination of coffee, clean sheets and cracking adventure story.